Will never delete this.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

I love you Dad, you're the one that understands me the most. Although i'm always the one that always giving you a fucking attitude, but you still tried to understand. I sat down with him for yesterday's night, & talking to him was like talking to my long lost friend. It's been so long since we were like this.

After I asked him questions like:

" Was i very naughty girl when i was a toddler ? :B "
And he said that i always cry when i see strangers! I was pretty shocked! I thought i was a super thick-skinned girl.

&

" Was i very cute when i was young ? :p *showed him a super cute face of mine* "
And he said yes i was very cute, & i'll be even cuter if I'm healthy & eat well. And he sayang & hugged me.

Dad: "It must have been hard for you."

YOU CAN COMPLETELY IGNORED THE BOTTOM

*DISCLAIMER*

I tried my very best to contain my tears. Inside of me almost exploded because i could almost no longer control. I knew in the family he cared most for me but i am always ignoring him, giving him the face like he never exists in the house. I feel like killing myself, when he told me that his worried for me. Where did i always go ? Why am i homed so late ? Have you eaten ? There was this period of time when i kept going out & went back home in the morning. I thought my whole family had slept, and i did not contact them. It was 4. When i reached home i saw my dad lying on the chair in the living room asleep. He was waiting for me to come back home. Even he had to work later and till overnight.

The next morning my mum told me that my Dad could not sleep for a wink because he was all over worried about me. Whether i did eat properly, whether i am really safe outside when i am not homed yet, but always, when he asked for concern, i'll just ignore him & give him those type of face that i believe no one will do to their parents. I am a frecking bitch.

On one of the days, he had a hard quarrel with my brother when my brother didn't listen to him. & I've never seen him in such a hot temper before. Before i even knew what would happen, he threw a chair at my brother & the 2 empty pots on the floor. He is a happy-go-lucky person and i can swear that that was his first. I felt really guilty, thinking that if not because of me, my whole family could have been happier. It feels like i ruined the whole family & as i changed, my brother changed, my dad changed, my mum changed. Why are they still willing to give what i want, Like braces which cost over $4000, when our family savings is already failing. Like a phone which cost $1000, and expensive clothes which i like them but i do not want them to buy. Why. I don't deserve a family. I do not even know that today was my father's birthday, one day after Father's Day, until he told me yesterday. I am not fit to be his daughter. Today was father's day, & i still went out to the flea. He wanted to find me at Chinatown. but he completed the chores by 7 & by then i came back home. Chores ? Why was he left with chores to do. I felt completely guilty all over again, Sun is the only time he can rest. I should be the one at home doing the chores. This frecking slut, should be those bitches who make prostitution & earning dirty money & die of AIDS. A frecking
bitch. Extreme guilt.

From then I cherish my parents alot alot. They are always the ones that stand by me, especially my dad, Being that i am a very talkative girl, & will always entertain me by talking to me too. He pleases me by accompanying me to do things that i love to do, respect me, let me have my own preference of decisions. Never fails to bring me to places i love to go, never fails to buy my favourite food for me, never fails to accompany me to buy something that i need, even when he don't feel like moving about, never fails to entertain me with new stuff. My coolest dad, currently sleeping now so that he can wake up for later's work,

Happy Father's Day
Happy Birthday

I love you,