My mum.

I asked myself -
"Why do we go to somerset every week? "

Feel like a no life person. Everyday go town, everytime go the same place. Even my dad said -
" Once is okay. Every week? "

2 weeks ago, i have already thought that it is boring.
Town isn't boring. If we go there every week, it is. In fact, whatever place you go to always is boring. Like school, hub. Some people even claim that home is boring. Staying at home means
NO LIFE.

I think, staying at home VS going to town every week,
Staying at home wins. I would rather stay at home and watch movie, change my blogskin, settle my new room, stitching. Than going to town, have a drink, walking around listlessly - Nothing fruitful done on the day. Or, maybe, the only fruitful thing is the walking, helps in weight lost.

Sick of town. Next hangout.
My friend says that we should study. Yeah. I agree that if we don't go to town for next 2 weeks, by then when exams are over, we sure be excited & chiong to town.

However, the thing is that I don't feel like studying. I don't know why. Usually in my clique i'll be first to study. But, I've not touched any of my textbooks since the end of SA1 exams.

Should i study. But I completely don't feel like.
Wants to, quit school, start working and travel.



I came back home early from town yesterday, 12.15am. I was early, at least, earlier than times like 2am. Because all of us did not want to cab back. So we decided to catch the last train & bus.

When i reach home, my mum started talking to me. She even laughed as we made fun of each other. When i was bathing, i heard her saying about my new room. She knew that i hated the idea of fixed wardrobe in the room. And that, she was planning to install a lace-typed lamp that is different from other rooms. When i bathed, she prepared the hair dryer on the table for me & switched on the lights. Usually, she'll switch off all lights at 12am. For the past few days, both of us were really nasty & had few conflicts which i don't feel comfortable to say.

I was shocked when she started talking happily. It's been so long since we smiled to each other. Usually whatever comes out from our mouth is words that nobody would like to hear. Watched movie as we chatted till 3. Cries. The guiltiness that i have that.

Whenever my mum is happy, i feel guilty for everything that i did to make her angry.
In the world, all parents will never hate their kids. When parents appear that they don't care, but actually, they care. I know how much my parents worried for me when i am not home. Sometimes when i got chased out the house by my mum, i know she didn't mean to chase me out. When she threw away all my clothes & products, i knew she was doing that out of anger. She's doing all these because i never listens to her. When she told me that she didn't mean to throw away my things, i can't help but tears start flowing. I hate treating my mum badly.
Whenever i vowed to be good, my words are always taken back. I never wanted this.

If everything has started well.